I've realized recently how much I've changed. I never used to find myself in awkward moments. I had it all down. I was killer. I was cool. I always knew what to say. Or something. But recently I've realized something: I am an awkward person. With people I am close to, I'm not so bad... But with strangers, I create the most awkward moments. I ask awkward questions. I don't answer questions. I look at them way too long. I stare at people in the eyeballs for excessive amounts of time and it makes them feel terribly uncomfortable. I give people "love pats." I sing in public places. I dance alone. I sing and dance simultaneously in public places. I am awkward enough to walk up to strangers and say, "You don't know me. But you're really attractive. Should we get married?" (Yes, I've actually done that. More than once.) I say the wrong thing at the right time. I say the right thing at the wrong time. I say wrong thing and the wrong time. Mostly, I think the next time I introduce myself (or, more likely, someone else introduces me, on account of I seem to be forgetting introductions lately and simply jumping straight into one of the said awkward things) I'll just say:
"Sup. I'm awkward."
At the same time, though, I'm realizing how much I enjoy my life currently. Instead of running around with people that have always been way too cool for me and liking boys who are absolute jerks underneath their attractive features, athletic ability, and sport shorts, I have been spending time with people that I genuinely enjoy. People that I'm not too awkward with. People I like. People who love to go sweater shopping and miss me when I'm not around. People who bake things. People who microwave tin foil.(People who love Scott Pilgrim Vs. The World.) People who are attractive in a way that is quirky and a little bit weird. But awesome. And I am happy. Happy and, of course, awkward. I am awkward enough to ask the guest in human bio if he believes in aliens. And I am awkward enough to whisper, "Yes," in an an ultra-creepy voice when he says, "I'm not sure. Do you?"
Together, we can take over the whole world.
All my love, Addy.
Post script: Dear Avery: I am sorry for thinking you were stupid for being obsessed with Scott Pilgrim. Turns out it actually is the greatest movie ever, maybe. My apologies. Love, me.
Post post script: "This one's for the guy on the balcony that keeps yelling. It's called, 'We Hate You, Please Die.'" "Sweet. I love this song."
Post post post script: "I mean, did you really see a future with this girl?" "Like... With jetpacks."