Day 28: Mostly, more than anything, I miss my youth.

It scares me everyday to think of how different things are. I fear aging too much and waking up one morning to discover that I have yet to do anything worth my while.

I wanna be forever young.

All my love,

Addy

Day 27: Favorite place.

My favorite: the hopeful state of mind.

Day 26: Oh, how I am scared.

I am scared of many things. Knives and spiders and snakes and sharks and knives and the dark and the discontinuation of Ramen Noodles and knives and... Did I mention knives? I'm very afraid of knives. It's normal.

But in real life, I have real fears. Sometimes I pretend to be a superhuman to impress/fool no one other than myself. My real life fears are as follows:

1.) Not being able to rely upon myself. I am afraid of getting into a car accident or being stabbed in the liver with a knife or something and not being able to rely upon myself to make my own breakfast. I have big dreams involving independence.

2.) Never ever finding love. This is a real fear worth fearing in my life. It honestly is, because I honestly worry that I may never fall in love. Boys do not actually fall at my feet and I am helplessly picky. I've never been kissed and there is only one boy that I can see myself kissing. But let's be honest, he's never actually going to kiss me/love me back. It is not fine.

3.) Not living out my dreams. I have a list of so many things I want to do with my life. College (major universities), career, game shows, fashion shows, Broadway, etc. My biggest, deepest fear is that I will not achieve these things. My mother always says, "Leave the doors open so that you can do anything," which really only means, "Get perfect grades so that you can do anything."

4.) Knives.

5.) I am terrified of death. Obviously. Because in the event of my death, I would not be able to rely on myself, fall in love, or live out my dreams. Also, there are probably knives in death.

I took off my makeup and now I look pretty.

All my love,

Addy.

Day 25: The first time I dressed up as an indian and went on a date with this lovely individual.

Thanks to Emily's fantastic editing skills, we ended up with the above pictures. But don't worry, this is what really went on:

It's perfectly fine that I love him, maybe.

All my love,

Addy.

Day 24: The reason behind my tears.

I cried over a boy once. Sometimes I cry simply because it makes me feel better. I believe in "happy tears" and in crying them when things go exactly perfect.

I mostly cry because I put a lot of faith in the world. I believe it is a good place full of good people who are selfless and genuine even when I am not. I loose it when I remember that this isn't always true.

But the same the that tortures me (having too much faith in the world) lights my eyes. If nothing else, I believe this: Underneath it all, people are good. The world is beautiful - full of beautiful people and beautiful things. The world is full of chocolate covered strawberries and kissing and little letters and indian costumes.

My world is beautiful because I allow it to exist as such. How are you allowing your world to exist?

One day we will all be fragments of our imaginations.

All my love,

Addy.

Day 23: Little letters to the ones who make everything better.

Dear Tanner,

This blog post is special for you. You have a way of making me feel better. Mostly, I love that you left me a voicemail saying, "Call me, punk. And make a new blog post right this second or I'll kick you into next week."

Marry me?

All my love,

Addy.

Dear Mallory,

Thanks for sharing your secrets with me. Also, thanks for driving me everywhere. Remember that one time we broke into the Aubrey's car?

All my love,

Addy.

Dear Kat,

Thank you for a plethora of things - being my best friend, laughing at my stories, loving Jake Barton, obeying the law, etc. - but mostly, thank you for all the notes you've written me over the last year or two. I have all of them in a shoebox in my closet.

All my love,

Addy.

Dear Avery,

Thank you for having a cute cat named Mundi. Also, thank you for being one of the seven people who attend Lone Peak High School that I actually like in real life.

All my love,

Addy.

Dear Morgan,

Thank you for being one of three things that get me to seminary every other day. (The other two are Heid and Mal. C'est bien.)

All my love,

Addy

Dear Cache,

Thank you for being photogenic. It's also perfectly normal that I still sort of want to marry you; however, I am working on not being a stalker so that's a secret.

All my love,

Addy.

Dear Emily Luse,

Thank you for capturing Cache on camera.

All my love,

Addy.

Dear Car,

Thanks for dying on us last night. But not actually dying while he and I were alone. It's perfect fine that we still have yet to kiss.

All my love,

Addy.

Dear French Band Called Yelle That Ryan Told Me to Listen to,

Thank you for always making the song "Je Veux Tu Voir."

All my love,

Addy.

Dear Black and White Photos,

You're better than color photos.

All my love,

Addy.

Dear New Boots That Came in the Mail on Tuesday,

I don't actually care about finding love anymore because I have you. You are my favorite shoes; you are my most prized possession; you are beautiful in every way; I am in love with you, I think.

All my love,

Addy.

Dear Lady Gaga,

Thank you for recording "Born This Way." It's my favorite song to run to.

All my love,

Addy.

Dear Radical Feminist Lady Who Spoke at Journalism Conference,

'Nuff said.

All my love,

Addy.

Dear Contemporary Elitist Groupies Who Wear Sweaters and Probably Belong in Seattle,

Thank you for making me feel substantially elite whenever you speak to me.

All my love,

Addy.

Dear British Accents,

Thank you for being the sexiest thing around.

All my love,

Addy.

Dear YOU,

I love you. I love you for reading this little blog and I love you for you.

All my love, Addy.

P.S. I planned on having today (which is bandwagon day 23 - something that makes me feel better) be a sufficiently awkward/adorable picture of he and I dressed as Indians. But I don't have it yet. All the pictures are still on Emily Luse's computer. It's fine.

Day 22: I feel upset when you use "there" instead of "their" because they're different.

I am what one could refer to as a grammar nazi; I feel upset when those who are not of this cult of English language freaks write with utter abandon for the words and the rules. So, instead of complaining about it and how upset it makes me, I figured for bandwagon day 22, I'd make a chart for you, you know, if you have an issue with commonly confused words and grammar rules. You can refer to it in times of need and all of us will be less upset.

There: "I'm not actually fat, there is just a melon up my shirt."

Their: "Their melon is not as cool as my melon."

They're: "They're really nice people, even if their melon is lame."

To: "I am going to give my melon to you."

Two: "Actually, I'm going to give you two melons."

Too: "I'm too nice to keep all the melon for myself."

Toe: "I dropped that melon on my toe."

Tow: "My car weighs so much from all the melons it is carrying that the tow truck can't carry it."

Commas come after prepositional phrases: "After I got back from the emergency room, I ate a melon."

Commas come before one addresses someone directly: "I love you more than I love melons, Morgan."

Commas come in a list; oxford commas come before "and" in a list: "I ate a watermelon, a cantaloupe, a honeydew melon, and a crenshaw melon."

Commas are used in dates: "I ate my first melon on November 11, 1995."

Commas are used in addresses: "I bought a melon in New York City, New York; it was the best melon ever."

Commas are used to set of quotation marks: "He said, "Melons are my least favorite things." "

Commas are used in large numbers: "I ate 1,000,000 melons today."

Commas are used in independent clauses connected with a conjunction: "I sometimes eat melons at midnight, but I know that's not healthy."

Commas are used to separate two adjectives modifying the same verb: "That was the freshest, juiciest melon ever."

Commas are used to separate interrupting elements in a sentence: "The best melons, without a doubt, are crenshaw melons."

Commas are used to set off appositives: "My mom, Camie, also likes melons."

Commas are used to separate individual words, phrases, or clauses in a series: "I woke up, went running, and ate a melon."

Semi-colons are used to join to individual clauses without a conjunction (joining them with a comma is wrong - it's called a comma splice): "I like melons; Adam Mayne likes melons, too."

Semi-colons are used before a conjunctive adverb connecting two independent clauses (however, also, meanwhile, then, therefore, and instead - the C.A. is always followed by a comma): "I adore melons and would eat them for every meal; however, Kyle Somers and Roah probably reject them 'cause they're not indie enough."

I tried to write a sentence using every single one of these rules and every single one of these commonly confused words, but it took too much effort. Can you do it?

Play dress up someday.

All my love,

Addy.

P.S. I'm emailing a link to this to my super awesome English teacher. I hope he's reading this.