I'm having writer's block in the very worst way.

I wish I could find the right words to tell you the story of last night's dance party and all of its stunning perfection or the words to tell you of what it's like to fall in love* or the words to give you one moment of the anxiety surrounding my scene that I finally performed yesterday or the words to just... Just write something worth reading. However, I simply cannot find them. So, to make up for that, I am leaving you with the best music video ever made. Ever. And that superlative isn't even a hyperbole.

Ladies and gentlemen, a great song with an even greater music video: "A Thing For Me" by the one and the only, Metronomy.

Wikipedia has a page about itself. It's very long. How narcissistic.

All my love,

Addy.

P.S. I promise to post something real soon. Cause I know all of you are just dying here. (Sarcasm intended.)

*My faith in love could actually possibly be restored. I just can't find the words to explain it to you. They'll come eventually.

I use too many infinitives but I don't actually care cause it really was the most perfect thing that has ever happened.

My English teacher (the one I used to hate, but now we're randomly best friends) told me I used too many infinitives: "This is my most favorite poem ever!" "It was the best thing that has ever happened to me!" "Today is the worst day of my entire life!" "I love this day more than I love any other day that has ever, ever occurred!!" And he's right. But let me clarify, when I say that last night was the most perfect thing that has ever happened to me, I honestly mean:

last night was the most perfect thing that has ever happened to me.

(a) I finished The Princess Bride, (b) I had a violin recital and I played rather well, (c) my high school basketball team actually won - not to mention they're rated number 3 in the state - which is exciting because my high school sucks at everything except marching band and it doesn't matter how great your marching band is, everyone still pretty much hates marching band, (d) there was a dance afterwards, which is way better than a basketball game, and I love anywhere with loud music, minimal lighting, and lots of people, (e) Perfect Boy Whom I Love happened to make an appearance at said dance.

Let's dwell on (e), shall we? His friend claims that he has never, in 17 years, busted a move. I would have to believe that. He's just that way. So after about an hour of his awkward standing there (far enough away from front/center to not get caught and suffocated, but not too far away from front/center so that he looked desperate) with his arms crossed while everything happened around him, a slow song started and I walked up. "You are the most awkward person I have ever met in my entire life." (Again, unnecessary use of infinitives.) And he mumbled something awkward in response. "Do you even know how to dance?" I asked. (More awkward mumbling. To be honest it probably wasn't even too mumbly, the music was just terribly loud, but he didn't seem to tap into that.) Long story short, we danced. And I taught him to waltz. And he is a terrible, terrible dancer and kept stepping on my feet and being terrible at dancing, but it was the most wonderful thing that has ever happened to me. (Truthful use of infinitives - not counting the things like being born and having a nice family and stuff.)

And I am happy. I have changed so much. I know I keep saying that, but it's just so true. A year ago, I wouldn't have even befriended him, because I was for sure too cool for people who were openly intelligent (a.k.a. Nerds) and I certainly wouldn't have spent the entire dance talking about books and admitting to dancing in the grocery store. And I wouldn't have fallen in love with him in the first place. But I have embraced my ridiculous awkwardness and I feel more beautiful than I have felt in a very long time.

Don't admit to being a stalker.

All my love, Addy

Post script: I saw Kaitlyn this morning and Avery yesterday afternoon. It was more than lovely. And, Katie, would you please call me? I know you're home and I know you're reading this and I miss you terribly a lot.

The best thing anybody ever informed me of.

I was sitting on a couch at a family reunion with my nana and my sister. Whatever the original conversation was, I will never remember. But, alas, it is terribly unimportant. It is what someone said later that changed my life.

"Sometimes it is better to ask for forgiveness than permission."

I was filled with a sudden lightness. It was the most liberating thing anyone had ever thought of in the entire history of the world. I was thrilled. Never have I been so overjoyed about my future. It was as if my entire future - all the things I would do, the boys I would kiss, the tattoos I would have tattooed, the fences I would hop, the places I would go - flashed before my very eyes. My course was set. And I took it to heart. The next morning, I got into my nana's make-up case and did my make-up. When she informed me I was much too young for such frivolousness, I simply asked for forgiveness, rather than having asked for permission and hour or so earlier. Needless to say, I looked positively smashing in family pictures later that day. In relation to my bucket list: life is much too short. I feel the need to live before I die. And sometimes, I just know that asking for permission will only stagger the ever-so-important process. For example, if, per say, one wanted to swing on the swings at the private school, it would be simply too much work to ask permission (not to mention one already knows the answer). It is postively better for one to simply trudge across the fields, enter the back way, hopping the fence, and swing until one's heart is content. (Not that I have ever done that.) Now, don't go robbing a bank and blame it on me, saying you were planning on asking for forgiveness. That is wrong. But, using the common sense you were blessed with, GO LIVE YOUR LIFE. It is time we stopped letting others disern our fates! Huzzah! (This would be the point where someone should probably yell "FOR NARNIA!")

Follow your dreams.

All my love, Addy.

It's fine.

Sometimes I'm like, "Waaaah! I have the worst life ever!" And then other times I'm all, "My life is the best life of all the lives! Yayy!" And then I feel bipolar. It's fine.

Also, last night, I danced with my headphones in - a full on dance, with leaps and turns and pointed toes and all that jazz - on a sidewalk in Salt Lake City. People looked at me weird. It's fine.

Cookies with raisins in them are mostly only salads.

All my love, Addy

Can someone say, "PERFECTION"?

Because that would be the only way to describe how these last days have been. Namely yesterday. It was simply the most perfect day that ever occurred. For one, it was pre-Halloween. I enjoy Halloween. I didn't dress up for school. It just didn't quite feel right, you know? Cause it wasn't real Halloween. I'll probably dress up as a witch or a cat or something today, even though it's still pre-Halloween.

Anyway. I did wear my favorite jeggings and my mom's old cheer sweater and my maroon-ish Vans and it was cool. Some very funny boys at my school started a ping-pong tournament without a table, but rather using a hallway during lunch break. They were probably the three most entertaining boys that I have ever discovered. (They even wore short shorts, tall socks, and sweat bands.) Obviously, not everyone loved the ping-pong game as much as I, and it did cause a few fiascoes and swear words to be spewn when grouchy high school students were asked to "please respect the game" and "stay close to the edge of the hallway, please."

I also then learned that Lone Peak had an early afternoon football game right after school, so I rushed home and did a chore or two and rushed up to LP and guess what. I wasn't even bothered by the "old friends." I just happily enjoyed my real friends and talked to people I missed and didn't bother myself with Talon (who, by the way, played extremely well, but what else is new?).

After the game, three of my favorite boys picked us up and we headed to the Colemere's to jam. And eat baby cinnamon rolls. And play pool. And have a piano recital. And watch dance videos on YouTube.

But, of course, no day is perfect without a dance or two. I snuck into a LP dance, but turns out it's very easy, especially when your aunt teaches there. And, of course, no dance is complete without friends and Nathan Stukey dressed as a Jabawokee and having Parker finally teach my how to Charleston.

What a beautiful day.

Don't take candy from strangers... Oh, wait, do.

All my love, Addy