Whisper, whisper, whisper.

"This is the year I am failing. For the first time in my life. I am failing brilliantly and freely and nothing has ever been so exciting."

Once upon a time, Kaitlyn posted this quotation from someone on her blog back in November of '09 and I've not forgotten it since.

Honestly, I am terrified. I am failing - in a nontraditional sense.

I don't know what I want; I don't know where I am supposed to go. So I'm failing. I'm jumping and falling and letting go and just trying. One day, I'll flip a coin and make my choice or something. Or maybe just follow my heart, even though my heart is hurting and making my head hurt, too.

I am happy (ignore the rude/angsty post from last Saturday) and I am scared. But things will be fine, I'm sure.

I just know I will screw everything up if I do what I want. Somebody help me.

To be, or not to be?

All my love,

Addy

Day 15: Fast cars in my dream.

It's funny that this day of 30 days fell when it did. I have weird dreams that don't mean anything all the time, but last night I dreamt that I stole Shelbie Jude's car. I dreamt that I couldn't drive it very well and that all the other cars were going too fast.

Do you think that this might be a parallel to my life? Sometimes I feel like I'm not doing very well and that everyone else is good at what they are doing and they are flying along going very fast.

In other news, I think I might possibly go to Sadies, and I think I might possibly ask that boy to go with me. Maybe. Should I? What do you think?

Everyone is weird.

All my love,

Addy

P.S. Dear Anonymous commenter who hated J. Crew Spring 2011 collection:

Okay.

Love, me.