I use too many infinitives but I don't actually care cause it really was the most perfect thing that has ever happened.

My English teacher (the one I used to hate, but now we're randomly best friends) told me I used too many infinitives: "This is my most favorite poem ever!" "It was the best thing that has ever happened to me!" "Today is the worst day of my entire life!" "I love this day more than I love any other day that has ever, ever occurred!!" And he's right. But let me clarify, when I say that last night was the most perfect thing that has ever happened to me, I honestly mean:

last night was the most perfect thing that has ever happened to me.

(a) I finished The Princess Bride, (b) I had a violin recital and I played rather well, (c) my high school basketball team actually won - not to mention they're rated number 3 in the state - which is exciting because my high school sucks at everything except marching band and it doesn't matter how great your marching band is, everyone still pretty much hates marching band, (d) there was a dance afterwards, which is way better than a basketball game, and I love anywhere with loud music, minimal lighting, and lots of people, (e) Perfect Boy Whom I Love happened to make an appearance at said dance.

Let's dwell on (e), shall we? His friend claims that he has never, in 17 years, busted a move. I would have to believe that. He's just that way. So after about an hour of his awkward standing there (far enough away from front/center to not get caught and suffocated, but not too far away from front/center so that he looked desperate) with his arms crossed while everything happened around him, a slow song started and I walked up. "You are the most awkward person I have ever met in my entire life." (Again, unnecessary use of infinitives.) And he mumbled something awkward in response. "Do you even know how to dance?" I asked. (More awkward mumbling. To be honest it probably wasn't even too mumbly, the music was just terribly loud, but he didn't seem to tap into that.) Long story short, we danced. And I taught him to waltz. And he is a terrible, terrible dancer and kept stepping on my feet and being terrible at dancing, but it was the most wonderful thing that has ever happened to me. (Truthful use of infinitives - not counting the things like being born and having a nice family and stuff.)

And I am happy. I have changed so much. I know I keep saying that, but it's just so true. A year ago, I wouldn't have even befriended him, because I was for sure too cool for people who were openly intelligent (a.k.a. Nerds) and I certainly wouldn't have spent the entire dance talking about books and admitting to dancing in the grocery store. And I wouldn't have fallen in love with him in the first place. But I have embraced my ridiculous awkwardness and I feel more beautiful than I have felt in a very long time.

Don't admit to being a stalker.

All my love, Addy

Post script: I saw Kaitlyn this morning and Avery yesterday afternoon. It was more than lovely. And, Katie, would you please call me? I know you're home and I know you're reading this and I miss you terribly a lot.

It's fine.

Sometimes I'm like, "Waaaah! I have the worst life ever!" And then other times I'm all, "My life is the best life of all the lives! Yayy!" And then I feel bipolar. It's fine.

Also, last night, I danced with my headphones in - a full on dance, with leaps and turns and pointed toes and all that jazz - on a sidewalk in Salt Lake City. People looked at me weird. It's fine.

Cookies with raisins in them are mostly only salads.

All my love, Addy

Hello, November. I am different this year.

It's a nice thought, if you think about it. How have you changed since last November? Have you changed since last November? "Why November?" you ask. I'll tell you why November. "Cause it's November right this moment." That's what I'd say. Have you grown? Shrunk? Cried more? Less?

I, for one, have grown in some ways. I have simply grown as a person. Matured? Well, I wouldn't use the word "matured" maybe... Anyway. I'm smarter. Brighter. And, in a funny way, younger. I'm a little more alive than I was a year ago. One year ago I was starting ninth grade. I don't know. It was... It just was. This year has taken growing and adapting and being and existing, and more than all of that, thriving. I had a few dark patches over the last year, but look at me now. I had to head off to a new school (which brought upon more tears than I've ever cried over any three consistent weeks maybe ever) (except possibly the first three weeks of my life) (my mom says I cried a lot when I was a newborn). But look! Look at me now! I am happy. I am classy. I am alive. As a dancer, I've grown incredibly. I've had strangers come up to me after a performance and tell me how lovely I am as a dancer. I've had a moment or two where I've been a little down on myself, but not anymore. I am happy and I am content and I am alive. I've made so many new friends since last November. I'm in love. I'm alive. I'm not afriad. I sleep less - and sometimes more. I am a little more out there, a little less afraid. I took away the nightlight (I'm a little more mature, I guess). My voice has matured and I've sung a few pieces that you wouldn't believe. I'm just happy. I'm so comfortable with who I am now. I am not afraid to not wear makeup to school (I didn't today). I am not afraid to talk to "cool people." I am happy to wear my hair on top of my head and run around like a wild thing.

Mostly, I'm at peace. I'm at peace with everything out there. And I'm happy. I'm a wild thing.

Stop simply existing.

All my life, Addy

Can someone say, "PERFECTION"?

Because that would be the only way to describe how these last days have been. Namely yesterday. It was simply the most perfect day that ever occurred. For one, it was pre-Halloween. I enjoy Halloween. I didn't dress up for school. It just didn't quite feel right, you know? Cause it wasn't real Halloween. I'll probably dress up as a witch or a cat or something today, even though it's still pre-Halloween.

Anyway. I did wear my favorite jeggings and my mom's old cheer sweater and my maroon-ish Vans and it was cool. Some very funny boys at my school started a ping-pong tournament without a table, but rather using a hallway during lunch break. They were probably the three most entertaining boys that I have ever discovered. (They even wore short shorts, tall socks, and sweat bands.) Obviously, not everyone loved the ping-pong game as much as I, and it did cause a few fiascoes and swear words to be spewn when grouchy high school students were asked to "please respect the game" and "stay close to the edge of the hallway, please."

I also then learned that Lone Peak had an early afternoon football game right after school, so I rushed home and did a chore or two and rushed up to LP and guess what. I wasn't even bothered by the "old friends." I just happily enjoyed my real friends and talked to people I missed and didn't bother myself with Talon (who, by the way, played extremely well, but what else is new?).

After the game, three of my favorite boys picked us up and we headed to the Colemere's to jam. And eat baby cinnamon rolls. And play pool. And have a piano recital. And watch dance videos on YouTube.

But, of course, no day is perfect without a dance or two. I snuck into a LP dance, but turns out it's very easy, especially when your aunt teaches there. And, of course, no dance is complete without friends and Nathan Stukey dressed as a Jabawokee and having Parker finally teach my how to Charleston.

What a beautiful day.

Don't take candy from strangers... Oh, wait, do.

All my love, Addy