Saturday, August 28, 2010

Odd Things Called High School

High school is very odd.
Sometimes I feel very, very sad and I come home and I cry for a while and I just want someone to listen to me cry for a few moments because that usually makes everything better.
And other times I feel happy. Like everyone is completely crazy and I can handle this and there is a cute boy with messy blonde hair who likes to wear pale-ish yellow which is a little funny but also very cute.
And then I feel kind of sad that I don't know who he is.
And then I remember that boy that I love who doesn't go to my school who girls probably love very much because he happens to be very wonderful.
And occasionally I laugh very hard and think, oh good heavens. It's time to move forward with my life.
And sometimes I feel very tired, which is funny cause usually school doesn't exhaust me for at least the first month and this year I couldn't even wake up after the first day and I am already doing that thing where I get up twenty minutes before I need to be at my ride and then I feel very proud of how pretty much good I ended up looking that day nonetheless.
And then sometimes I start to feel completely sick about everything because everything reminds me of things I am missing terribly. I hear Katie's voice behind me. And she's not actually there. I see Wilson across the parking lot, but, of course, he isn't there. I see shoes that Talon wears and the jocks with their jock socks remind me of my boys and I just want to curl up in a little ball and cry forever.
I am learning to dance alone and it makes me a little less afraid. I am learning that I am able to be happy even when I am sad, which isn't easy, but very important, you know.
Because when I do that.... "In that moment, I swear, we were infinite."

4 comments:

katheryn said...

Addy! Good luck with High School! You will meet new people that will leave imprints on your heart! I love you!

timtincher said...

Aw. I really like this one. :) I wish we were in school together. Have you been talking to Hailey E.?

Love you

Keep gweeting, don't leave me. Visit me in French because Ms. Asay will be so happy.

timtincher said...

*tweeting

Whitney Baird said...

Ads, Welcome to High school! I promise this is normal. It'll get better though. If you need anything call me! I love you!