Saturday, June 25, 2011

"That's crazy."

I think I hear things like, "That's not my hair. That's a penguin," or "Don't you think so, too?" a lot. The problem is that I don't remember how the hair became a penguin or what I am supposed to be agreeing with 'cause, you know, I'm not, like, the best listener or anything. 

So usually I'm like, "Har, har, har..." but then I realize that the penguin is some sort of endangered animal and the fact that they're headed down the path towards extinction isn't funny and you can't laugh in answer to a question, of course.

So I set out to find an answer that is appropriate for anything. I'm not saying it's the best response for anything, simply that it's appropriate. And guess what, folks: I've got it.

"That's crazy."

I told Avery about it several months ago. I've been thinking about it a lot, lately. Try me. Give me something that I can't say "That's crazy" to. That's right. You can't. That's crazy.

1. Incredibly depressing situations. Person no. 1: "There is an impending meteorite." Person no. 2: "That's crazy."

2. Incredibly exciting situations. Person no. 1: "I bought something cool!" Person no. 2: "That's crazy."

3. Situations that are totally, totally random. Person no. 1: "My toenails are several different shades of pink." Person no. 2: "That's crazy."

4. Situations in which you are not listening at all but need to interject something. Person no. 1: "I was like, who does she think she is?" Person no. 2: "That's crazy."

The only flaw is the command form, I think. When someone says, "Dance," it might be semi-odd to say, "That's crazy." But, I mean, not really. So pretty much it works for everything.

Also, if you get the right tone, you don't even have to change the the tone of your voice to fit with the situations, really. The recipe for mine is below:

1/8 sarcastic
1/8 joyful
1/2 interested
1/8 angst ridden 
1/8 incredibly depressed

Beat with electric mixer until solidified.

I hate you for leaving. I hate you for leaving. I hate you for leaving.
All my love,


The Girl in the Dress said...

I enjoyed the penguin thing. It's the punchline to my joke without a beginning.
That's crazy!

Brooklyn M. R. said...

...stealing this...

Katherine said...

Don't tell my friends I'm eating Turkey bacon.

Anonymous said...

That's crazy!... hey it does work!

Anonymous said...

That is absolutely brilliant.