Tuesday, February 21, 2012

"I didn't know how loudly the sky could fall."

I miss you, do you know that? Probably not.

I miss you. I miss your blonde hair and big eyes and skinny limbs and the way that you were before you knew your blonde hair and big eyes and skinny limbs made you pretty. I miss your notes -- I still have every single one of them, they're in a shoebox on a shelf in my closet, but I don't think there's anything behind them anymore, you know? And I don't know if I'm ever going add anything new, though I don't think that's any fault of mine.

I miss you, also. I miss your hats and your hair when it's long. Grow it out when you can, yeah? Actually, maybe don't. I miss when you actually liked me, you know? When you communicated with me, when you would answer the phone when I called, when you made me promises. When there was something behind those promises. Remember? No, you don't. You do? No, you don't.

Make up your mind. The problem here is that neither of you seem to think I should have a problem with this, but I don't see how you can possibly think I wouldn't have a problem with this. You want normality, but normality led to all of this. We can't have old normal. We need new normal, and new normal is this.

I don't understand why you think I shouldn't have a problem with this, you don't understand what I'm trying to say. I can't get through to you no matter how much I try. I'm giving up kind of.

New normal is this. New normal is ""I betrayed you," he said baldly. "I betrayed you," she said baldly."" But happier than that.

I read back over all the things you inspired. You made quite the muses, yes you did.

I guess what I'm getting at is that if I said, "He woke up with the word Shakespeare on his lips," you wouldn't understand, but everything that is new normal? New normal would. For some reason that seems like the most important thing.

"I couldn't hear that, so I didn't."
All my love,


kait said...

1984! 1984!

He wouldn't understand, but I would.


Morgan said...

New normal will soon become better normal, I believe.


Anonymous said...

I wish I could write a post exactly like this. But alas, I am not that brave.